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Choosing A Marriage Counselor
by Spaventa Impego
http://www.abcmarriage.com
With the changing time marriage counseling and marriage
therapy is gaining more popularity amongst couples. They
want to give a last chance to revive their marriage before
scrapping it completely. This has led to birth of many
marriage counselors and marriage therapists. But the market
is also flooded with many unreliable and fruitless marriage
counselors and marriage therapists. So make sure you are
going to best marriage counselor or therapist available in
the market.
One mistake people make when entering marriage counseling
is in going to a general psychological therapist whose
practice isn't predominately marriage counseling. What
happens many times is that a person enters individual
counseling and then brings their mate in for marriage
counseling or therapy. Therapists who focus primarily on
individual therapy don't, as a rule, make good marriage
counselors or marriage therapists. That's because
individual therapy is vastly different from marriage
therapy, and so it's a good idea to select a therapist
or counselor whose primary focus is in on marriage
counseling.
And it's always a bad idea to bring a partner into marriage
counseling with a therapist who you already have a
therapeutic relationship with because that relationship
could, and usually does, cloud the therapist's judgment in
regards to marital issues. So always seek a marriage
counselor who doesn't already have a relationship with
either of you. This ensures that the marriage counselor will
be more open to hearing and evaluating both sides of the
marriage story. At the very least, you start out on equal
footing.
Always have a phone interview with a marriage counselor or
marriage therapist before making an appointment.
Alternatively, use the first appointment to ask questions.
You need to do this if your marriage is important to you and
you want to try and save it. You need the best marriage
counselor or therapist to help you. If he thinks asking
questions is his monopoly then it's wise to look elsewhere.
Some things you want to ask questions about
are the marriage counselor's credentials and background.
Ask about his or her attitude toward helping salvage
relationships as opposed to helping dissolve them. A
marriage therapist or counselor who comes down too strictly
on either side of the question is probably not a good
choice. You want someone neutral, if possible, and you
definitely don't want a marriage therapist who tells you
he or she doesn't believe in divorce. Hopefully, that
won't happen to your marriage, but if it does, you want a
marriage counselor who will help both of you through making
the decision and any transition that's necessary.
Even after you've hired a marriage therapist or marriage
counselor, don't hesitate to get out at any time when you
feel he is being unfair or has started taking sides. The
very idea of a marriage counselor is to get support and
equality for both partners. He should work objectively.
However be prepared to face some unpleasant questions. But,
if you feel you're being judged too severely, or you're
being singled out as the bad guy, or you're not being
helped, just stop and look for another marriage counselor.
If there is anything worse than a bad marriage it is a bad
marriage therapist or counselor.
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